Kevin D Thompson – The Guarded Mind

The Guarded Mind

  • I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative.
    - Michael Losier
  • It all starts with the head.
    - KDT
  • The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is busy doing it.
    - Chinese Proverb
  • Business owners and leaders often accurately perceive the attitude,behavior and performance opportunities for improvement in their people, but rarely realize the same is true for their self.
    - KDT
  • The greatest enemies of success and happiness are negative emotions of all kinds.
    - Brian Tracy
  • I'm interested in your life, not your shekels.
    - Milton H. Erickson
  • People generally despise being bossed around - however they usually appreciate being led.
    - KDT
  • Twenty men crossing a bridge into a village, are twenty men crossing twenty bridges, into twenty villages.
    - Wallace Stevens
  • Powerlessness corrupts. Absolute powerlessness corrupts absolutely.
    - Rosabeth Moss Kanter
  • If you do not accept the reality of where you are now - how do you imagine you can begin to change?
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • People don't at first follow worthy causes. They follow worthy leaders who promote worthwhile causes.
    - John C. Maxwell
  • Never forget: A guiding coalition made up only of managers - even superb managers who are wonderful people - will cause major change efforts to fail.
    - John P. Kotter
  • There can be no failure to a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self-respect, or his self-confidence. He is still a king.
    - Orison Swett Marden
  • When we behave in ways that conflict with our judgement of what is appropriate, we lose face in our own eyes.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • Studies of business failure tells us that a common cause is executive fear of making decisions.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • We each have an infinite capacity for self-deception. We become skilled at denial because it helps us to avoid discomfort in the short-term, but it exacts a toll in the long-term.
    - Tony Schwartz
  • In a significant number of cases, people actually get worse at their jobs over time...(partly) because most of us tend to become fixed in our habits and practices, even when they're suboptimal.
    - Tony Schwartz
  • I cannot overcome a fear whose reality I deny. I cannot correct a problem if I will not admit it exists. I cannot change traits I insist I do not have.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • You can't speed up time or have any more hours in a day - you can only improve the quality and value of your time.
    - KDT
  • I have no desire to shake the hand that has never changed a diaper.
    - Frank Pittman
  • It is said that the successful organization of the future will be above all a learning organization. It can equally be said that it will be an organization geared to self-esteem.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • Often what we call "thinking" is merely recycling the opinions of others.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • A key question for any leader is simply this: Do your people want to follow you and be like you?
    - KDT
  • Selling, just as many other human endeavors, is essentially a quest for truth.
    - KDT
  • Systems are rarely put in place to eliminate thinking...although it is a common result.
    - KDT
  • If you look at persuasion as if it were a piano, then most people only use a few keys and are playing "Chopsticks" when they could be using all the keys and playing Mozart.
    - Kurt Mortensen
  • I wish well-meaning, sensible men would not lessen their power of doing good by a positive, assuming manner, that seldom fails to disgust, tends to create opposition, and to defeat every one of those purposes for which speech was given to us.
    - Benjamin Franklin
  • If you don't understand yourself, you don't understand anybody else.
    - Nikki Giovanni
  • The best way to solve your problems is to outgrow them.
    - Bruce Gibbs
  • The most fundamental and the most far-reaching activity in life is that which you build into your mentality every waking hour.
    - Joseph Murphy
  • Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
    - Mark Twain
  • The more evolved and psychologically healthy people get, the more will enlightened management be necessary to survive in competition - and the more handicapped will be the enterprise with an authoritarian policy.
    - Abraham Maslow
  • If you're going to be a bear, be a grizzly.
    - Ben Benedict
  • A managerial mindset will develop plans, not vision; it will vastly undercommunicate the need for and the direction of change; and it will control rather than empower people.
    - John P. Kotter
  • The illiterate of the future will not be the person who cannot read. It will be the person who does not know how to learn.
    - Alvin Toffler
  • I shall never again want anything I'm not entitled to; it costs too much!
    - Frank Bettger
  • Many executives are better trained in designing strategy than in the superior human qualities needed to transform abstract plans into living commitments by real people.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • Doctors give drugs of which they know little, into bodies of which they know less, for diseases of which they know nothing at all.
    - Voltaire
  • What we need to keep in mind is that in the end, knowing the truth is almost always in our best interest.
    - Philip Houston
  • It's not who's right or who's wrong...it's who's left.
    - Dayo Thompson
  • All behavior is a function of its consequences.
    - Bob Nelson
  • If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.
    - Robert Fritz
  • The degree to which you awaken, will be in direct proportion to the amount of truth you can accept about yourself.
    - Robert Anthony
  • One of the most important discoveries business owners and leaders can make, is that the work of improving their business or organization begins with them.
    - KDT
  • Know thyself.
    - Ancient Greek maxim
  • Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will be.
    - Emile Coue
  • The relentless urgency that characterizes most companies cultures undermines creativity, quality, engagement, thoughtful deliberation, productivity and ultimately, performance.
    - Tony Schwartz
  • The lack of "soft skills" has hard consequences.
    - KDT
  • Your life is full already, if you truly want something new in your life - you will need to give up something you now have to make a place for it.
    - KDT
  • At its core management hasn't changed much in 100 years. Its central ethic remains control, its chief tools remain extrinsic motivators.
    - Daniel H. Pink
  • He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.
    - Lau-Tzu
  • In the full service, spoon-fed world you can get someone to do everything for you except lead and persuade others...you simply must do this yourself.
    - KDT
  • The biggest obstacle holding someone back is not knowing what they want.
    - KDT
  • We are the one species that can formulate a vision of what values are worth pursuing - and then pursue the opposite.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • He who knows nothing is closer to the truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.
    - Thomas Jefferson
  • Don't worry - be happy.
    - Bobby McFerrin
  • Understanding how things work is underrated - a lack of it leads to a belief in "magic".
    - KDT
  • The point of diminishing returns is reached quicker and at a lower level of production with Command & Control management than with Enlightened management.
    - KDT
  • Life gets good when we get clear on what we want to create.
    - Robert Fritz
  • The most important story you will ever tell about yourself is the story you tell to yourself.
    - Jim Loehr
  • A man has got to know his limitations.
    - Dirty Harry
  • This too shall pass.
    - Unknown
  • Selling and leading are not exactly like sculpting...doing more hammering will not normally result in success.
    - KDT
  • I thought I had an original epiphany, but alas, Emerson had already elucidated it.
    - KDT
  • Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you are probably right.
    - Henry Ford
  • Action has the last word, in that no living value can be achieved or sustained without it.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • There are no short cuts to anywhere worth going.
    - Beverly Sills
  • Life is nothing if not a continuous stream of learning.
    - KDT
  • Credibility is like the bottom of a ship. If it has holes, it doesn't matter if they are big or little - they all matter.
    - David Niven
  • You're always going to be in a box of some type so stop trying to get out of it, instead focus your efforts on enlarging it.
    - KDT
  • Inappropriate selfishness is the bane of humanity, appropriate selfishness is the foundation of humanity.
    - KDT
  • Killer products lead to killer profits.
    - Steve Jobs
  • Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.
    - Benjamin Disraeli
  • Frequently examine your working methods to discover and eliminate unnecessary tension. Aim at poise, repose, and self-control. The relaxed worker accomplishes most.
    - H. W. Dresser
  • I do not seek to judge anyone or be critical of anyone about anything - I seek to help others and myself see and deal with reality honestly.
    - KDT
  • If you want to live with the masses, think emotionally. If you want to live with the middle class, think positively. If you want live with the world class, think critically.
    - Steve Siebold
  • Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn to do things right.
    - Benjamin Franklin
  • In my experience there is only one motivation and that is desire. No reasons or principle contain it or stand against it.
    - Jane Smiley
  • People spend more time learning how to use a food processor than they do learning how to use their brains.
    - Richard Bandler
  • When I finally understood that emotions run the show, it was unquestionably the single greatest breakthrough in my career.
    - James E. Loehr
  • I am not my brother's keeper, I am my brother's helper.
    - KDT
  • When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
    - Chinese Proverb
  • It is usually best to recognize and celebrate BOTH the person and the input/processes that generated a positive outcome. When the outcome is negative, it is usually best to focus on the input/processes that generated it.
    - KDT
  • After nearly eight years in graduate and undergraduate engineering, I was surprised to find the most challenging problems dealt with people and not with things.
    - Jeffrey Hiatt
  • I oppose entropy.
    - KDT
  • I can't make chicken salad out of chicken s**t! - Mike Hawkins (modified - You can make chicken salad out of chicken s**t, but people usually do not like it.)
    - KDT
  • A problem for many educators is that they are teaching subjects that are not useful to the students at the time they are being taught.
    - Robert Fritz
  • I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
    - Mark Twain
  • Usually it is best to start something at the beginning.
    - KDT
  • A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing - one that sounds good, and a REAL one.
    - J. Pierpont Morgan, Sr.
  • The whole destiny of human society depends upon the influencing of human behavior.
    - Floyd Ruch
  • Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.
    - Unknown
  • Of all the judgements we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • Being the boss does not make one a great or even a good leader...developing leadership does.
    - KDT
  • The leadership mind is radically different from the non-leadership mind or from common sense.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • Character isn't something you were born with and can't change, like your fingerprints. It's something you weren't born with and must take responsibility for forming.
    - Jim Rohn
  • That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
    - Friedrich Nietzsche
  • The harder I work, the luckier I get.
    - Gary Player
  • I believe persuasion is the life-blood of freedom.
    - KDT
  • Everything in your life gets better when you get better, and nothing is ever going to get better until you get better.
    - Larry Winget
  • I was shocked when I finally realized that what I had been for all these years of work with thousands of athletes was an acting coach!
    - James E. Loehr
  • Are you still using "bloodletting" in running your business? If you don't understand the question then you probably are.
    - KDT
  • The tragedy of many people's lives is that they look for self-esteem in every direction except within, and so they fail in their search.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • Our early emphasis on human relations was not motivated by altruism, but by the simple belief that if we respected our people and helped them respect themselves, the company would make the most profit.
    - Thomas J. Watson, Jr.
  • The ferment in management will continue until organizations begin to address the higher order needs: self-respect and self-actualization.
    - Bill O'Brien
  • Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can't.
    - Jerry Rice
  • I found it is easier to fix other people's problems than it is to fix your own.
    - Brad Johnson
  • Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.
    - King Solomon
  • An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
    - Benjamin Franklin
  • To be highly successful in resolving problems with others, your positive emotion for the other person must be significantly greater than the negative emotion you have about the problem you seek to fix.
    - KDT
  • The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their ability to maximize and maintain their genuine self-esteem.
    - KDT
  • Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.
    - Albert Einstein
  • If you can remember, worry, or tie your shoe, you can succeed.
    - Maxwell Maltz
  • Until people can make their "work space" a learning space, learning will always be a "nice idea" - peripheral, not central.
    - Peter M. Senge
  • The internal conditions you create drive everything else.
    - Robert Fritz
  • Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.
    - William James
  • Apathetic stupidity cannot fix stupid, but quality teaching and mentoring can.
    - KDT
  • In the struggle between the heart and the brain - the heart will always win.
    - KDT
  • A good society is impossible unless we develop the ability to admire superiority.
    - Abraham Maslow
  • Your reality is like a large mosaic.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • If someone believes a thing, thinks a thing, says a thing or does a thing - you can be sure they "learned" that thing.
    - KDT
  • There is no way a work force that is uninvolved and unrewarded will be quality-conscious, efficient, or innovative.
    - Aaron Sugarman
  • The very best thing about our incredible brains is that they are reprogrammable.
    - KDT
  • Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
    - Lucille Ball
  • Creativeness is correlated with the ability to withstand the lack of structure, the lack of future, the lack of predictability, of control, the tolerance for ambiguity, for planlessness.
    - Abraham Maslow
  • Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
    - Eleanor Roosevelt
  • It is more desirable to stimulate the search for answers than to provide the answers.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • How can you learn from your mistakes if you cannot admit that you've made any?
    - Elliot Aronson
  • A capacity to confront reality had served me well throughout life.
    - Eugene O'Kelly
  • I believe our fundamental challenge is tapping the intellectual capacity of people at all levels, both as individuals and groups.
    - Ray Stata
  • Despite rhetoric to the contrary, I believe most American businesses are engaged in building "no-risk" environments.
    - Ed Simon
  • People have styles of persuading and influence; many have a brick wall of resistance even before you've even met them.
    - Kurt Mortensen
  • The busier you can keep yourself with the particulars of shot assessment and execution, the less chance your mind has to dwell on the emotional "if" and "but" factors that breed anxiety.
    - Jack Nicklaus
  • All in the organization must master the cycle of thinking, doing, evaluating, and reflecting. Without, there is no valid learning.
    - Ray Stata
  • I do not twist my brain to make facts disappear. I am willing to stand still in the presence of what I know to be true. What is, is.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • Change is the status quo.
    - KDT
  • The development of your leadership skills and performance is absolutely among your most important challenges and responsibilities.
    - KDT
  • When you meet a person who is really going places in this world, usually it is a person of intense desire for the highest and best in life.
    - Catherine Ponder
  • If you're not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.
    - Jim Rohn
  • No one is destined to stay as they are - quite the contrary, we are all destined to change. The question is, will we direct the change or yield control to things outside ourselves.
    - KDT
  • The human spirit will never invest itself in a compromise.
    - Robert Fritz
  • Imagination is more important than knowledge.
    - Albert Einstein
  • In a world in which the total of human knowledge is doubling about every ten years, our security can rest only in our ability to learn.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • When your desires and imagination are in conflict, your imagination invariably gains the day.
    - Emile Coue'
  • The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
    - Thomas Carlyle
  • To be a leader is to be condemned to philosophy.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • I do not like that man - I must get to know him better.
    - Abraham Linclon
  • The very best managers do not really DO much of anything, they get other people to do things.
    - KDT
  • Remember that the personal side of leadership is what, in the end, supports the strategic business needs of the organization. That will always remain the secret of a well-managed and profitable company.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • When you learn something new, you are then required to make mistakes in order to fully understand what you have learned.
    - Robert Kiyosaki
  • You can't teach a kid to ride a bike at a seminar.
    - David Sandler
  • Most mistakes business leaders make arise from an unwillingness to face reality and act accordingly.
    - Jack Welch
  • Our focused attention tends to determine what becomes reality - focus your attention on what you want instead of what you don't want.
    - KDT
  • Like computers, people's problems are much more often the result of inferior programming than defective hardware.
    - KDT
  • If you could master one element of personal communication that is more powerful than anything...it is the quality of being likeable.
    - Roger Ailes
  • If you try to change your behavior without first changing the underlying structure causing that behavior, you will not succeed. This is because structure determines behavior, not the other way around.
    - Robert Fritz
  • The gap between the amount of praise managers think they give their employees and the amount employees report receiving is unfortunately wide.
    - Bob Nelson
  • No matter what, something better is coming.
    - KDT
  • Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.
    - Jim Rohn
  • A problem-oriented management approach casts us in the role of getting rid of things, not in the role of creating the outcomes we want to create.
    - Robert Fritz
  • He who has no personal knowledge but has only heard of many things cannot understand deeper truth, even as the spoon has no idea of the taste of soup.
    - Ancient Axiom
  • Leadership is one of the things you cannot delegate. You either exercise it, or you abdicate it.
    - Robert Goizueta
  • The problem is never how to get new innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get the old ones out.
    - Dee Hock
  • Money is a result, wealth is a result, health is a result, illness is a result, your weight is a result. We live in a world of cause and effect.
    - T. Harv Eker
  • We are all self-made, but only the successful will admit it.
    - Earl Nightingale
  • Great systems and processes executed using poor fundamentals usually do not produce good results.
    - KDT
  • To a large degree, our success and happiness in life depends on how much people like themselves when they're with us.
    - Joe Caruso
  • The amazing thing is that, of the millions of people who think they want to be successful, few of them have any really strong, impelling desires.
    - Catherine Ponder
  • Whatever the diagnosis, the solution universally requires leadership. It demands that a critical mass of the organization think and act as leaders do.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • There really are only two directions in which we may travel in life: that which is life-enhancing and that which is life-diminishing.
    - KDT
  • Success is not for the timid. It is for those who seek guidance, make decisions, and take decisive action.
    - Joe Silva
  • Things, whether they be increased productivity or reduced errors do not generally change for the better until the people directly involved with those things change for the better.
    - KDT
  • The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.
    - Vince Lombardi
  • Practice without pressure and you will learn more efficiently and be able to perform better in a crisis situation.
    - Maxwell Maltz
  • The conflict between work and home diminishes dramatically when the organization fosters values in alignment with people's own core, values that have equal meaning at work and at home.
    - Peter M. Senge
  • Influence is king, although persuasion trumps it.
    - KDT
  • As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
    - Holy Bible
  • Two rules of market orientation define the well-led company: every employee must be close to the customer, and every employee must be close to the Company's total business plan and understand the reasons for it.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • We learn best from experience but we never directly experience the consequences of many of our most important decisions.
    - Peter M. Senge
  • There is no success unless it is ethical success.
    - Tony Grima
  • We are all contagious - what are you spreading?
    - KDT
  • If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
    - Mark Twain
  • Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
    - George Bernard Shaw
  • First, they ignore you. Second, they laugh at you. Third, they fight you. Finally, you win.
    - Gandhi
  • Continuous, supportive communication from managers, supervisors, and associates is too often underemphasized. It is a major, major motivator.
    - Jim Moultrup
  • Because of time delay, people often give up taking actions that are, in fact, effective, but the result of those actions has not yet had a chance to appear.
    - Robert Fritz
  • If you are struggling or failing in your leadership roles, you are probably not choosing or executing sales behavior appropriately.
    - KDT
  • High expectations are the key to everything.
    - Sam Walton
  • Happiness is native to the human mind and its physical machine. We think better, perform better, feel better, and are healthier when we are happy.
    - Maxwell Maltz
  • Leadership is the art of integrating results and heart.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • Unless commitment to the mission and vision of the larger organization is greater than commitment to individual functional goals, functional goals will predominate.
    - Peter M. Senge
  • It is not only that leaders with responsibility must be taught leadership; they must also, if they can, do the teaching.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • Systems and processes are only as good as the fundamentals used to execute them.
    - KDT
  • There's so much talk about the system. And so little understanding.
    - Robert M. Pirsig
  • Study the art of persuasion. Practice it. Develop an understanding for its profound value across all areas of life.
    - Donald Trump
  • Nothing is more common than to pursue self-esteem by means that will not and cannot work.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • Sophists forsake one of our primary functions - that of map making for others to follow.
    - KDT
  • The benefits of persuasion are strictly reserved for those who have invested the appropriate time, effort and capital necessary to develop it for their self.
    - KDT
  • The bad leader is he who the people despise. The good leader is he who the people praise. The great leader is he who the people say, "We did it ourselves."
    - Lao-tzu
  • Accountants must figure out some way of turning into balance sheet terms the intangible personnel values that come from improving the people of the organization.
    - Abraham Maslow
  • You can't make a baby run by beating it when it has just learned to walk.
    - Andrew Henry
  • Men and women want to do a good job, a creative job, and if they are provided the proper environment, they will do so.
    - Bill Hewlett
  • The reality is that stress is the stimulus for all growth in our lives.
    - Mark McCormack
  • Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.
    - Thomas Jefferson
  • Businesses only get better...when their people do - especially the leaders.
    - KDT
  • The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool!
    - Richard Feynman
  • Its not what the vision is, its what the vision does.
    - Peter M. Senge
  • Going to a seminar on leadership and thinking you are a leader when you leave, is like taking a ride in an F16 Fighter Jet and thinking you are a pilot when you get out.
    - KDT
  • Poor social or environmental conditions are those which set us against each other by making our personal interests antagonistic to the group, to those of others.
    - Abraham Maslow
  • Mix idealism with realism and add hard work. This will often bring much more than you could ever hope for.
    - John Wooden
  • Everything leaks.
    - Mike Moore
  • Your objective is to get all areas of your life working together to create and transfer high energy.
    - Kurt Mortensen
  • Human motivation boils down to two primary ingredients - desire and belief.
    - KDT
  • The leader needs to be in touch with the employees and to communicate with them on a daily basis.
    - Donald Petersen
  • It is not only a matter of believing you can do a thing, even more importantly, you must want to do that thing.
    - KDT
  • If you are a boss who cannot handle the truth - then your people are unlikely to give it to you.
    - KDT
  • Many people want to change other things and people - but often they do not want to change their self.
    - KDT
  • A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
    - Alexander Pope
  • Your skin actually reflects the quality of your life and what most people are doing is almost like polishing the flower instead of nourishing the root.
    - Deepak Chopra
  • You don't pull up the radishes to see how they are growing.
    - Bill O'Brien
  • Embrace and prepare for change...it is coming.
    - KDT
  • No one likes to change their present level of awareness.
    - Robert Anthony
  • Face reality as it is, not as it was or as how you wish it were.
    - Jack Welch
  • You can only "sell" what you can close, you can only "close" what you can control.
    - Jackie Cooper
  • People who do not understand automobiles can neither design nor fix them - how can people who do not understand human motivation design or fix motivational strategies or problems?
    - KDT
  • Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women. Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.
    - Brian Tracy
  • We cannot "not manipulate others" - it is a basic element of living that we have an effect on others.
    - KDT
  • When management shows through actions rather than words that you're a valuable employee, that your input is valued no matter what level you work at, it's very motivating.
    - Aaron Melick
  • Construction of a big building is painstaking work...I don't want people who think they can get it done in record time. That can spell disaster.
    - Donald Trump
  • The only certain means of success is to render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be.
    - Og Mandino
  • What's good for the cell is good for the person, is good for the group, is good for the organization, is good for the country and is good for the world.
    - KDT
  • When we are truly brave, we can be honest.
    - KDT
  • You cannot give someone something you do not first possess yourself.
    - Unknown
  • My experience is that most people underestimate their power to change and grow.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • The almost total absence of meaningful "practice" or "rehearsal" is probably the predominant factor that keeps most management teams from being effective learning units.
    - Peter M. Senge
  • To be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is a great step to knowledge.
    - Benjamin Disraeli
  • Those who are poor persuaders often yearn for power and authority so as to force or coerce others to comply with their wishes.
    - KDT
  • Self-discipline requires the ability to defer immediate gratification in the service of a remote goal.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • Leadership is being a faithful, devoted, hard-working servant of the people you lead and participating with them in the agonies as well as the ecstasies of life.
    - Herb Kelleher
  • Love is a genuine concern for the growth and happiness of others.
    - Jack M Zufelt
  • More is not always better, nor less for that matter, but better is always better.
    - KDT
  • It is the continual working with the material that begins to make it your own - regardless of where it came from.
    - KDT
  • Whether you're fixing sinks, ringing up groceries, selling cars, or writing up a lesson plan, you and I need autonomy just as deeply as a great painter.
    - Daniel H. Pink
  • If a person does not know, understand and deliberately use the fundamentals of persuasion, how persuasive can they be?
    - KDT
  • Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around their neck that says, "Make me feel important." Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.
    - Mary Kay Ash
  • There is only one way to get anyone to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it.
    - Dale Carnegie
  • We aren't what we think we are, but what we THINK, we are!
    - Unknown sage
  • If it is to be, it is up to me.
    - William H Johnsen
  • Right desire is truly the first step in solving problems and getting on the road to prosperity.
    - Catherine Ponder
  • Always assume each and every person wants to do a better job and grow.
    - Steve Farrar
  • If you want the truth to stand before you, never be for or against. The struggle between "for" and "against" is the mind's worst disease.
    - Seng-ts'an
  • The problem is that most people spend their lives looking... but not truly seeing.
    - Joe Navarro
  • Losers visualize the penalties of failure, and winners visualize the rewards of success.
    - Rob Gilbert
  • Discover that the most powerful way to help those you love is to lead by example - and realize that you are leading by example all of the time.
    - Joe Caruso
  • If you do not know that you have a problem - how can you possibly fix it on your own?
    - KDT
  • Pushing yourself for your own goals and desires is an admirable trait, pushing others to achieve your goals...not so much.
    - KDT
  • The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions.
    - John Hancock
  • The destinies of peoples are determined by their character and not by their government.
    - Gustave Le Bon
  • Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.
    - Winston Churchill
  • Involving individuals in the business is the most effective way to produce an organization in which people know more, care more, and do the right things.
    - Edward Lawler III
  • Many people mistakenly believe that because they can speak the language fluently, that it means they use the language effectively.
    - KDT
  • When social pressure or social validation is involved, we make higher-than-expected evaluations.
    - Kurt Mortensen
  • Those people who develop the ability to continuously acquire new and better forms of knowledge that they can apply to their work and to their lives will be the movers and shakers in our society for the indefinite future.
    - Brian Tracy
  • Depression is the appropriate mental state for an unprepared person doing a tough job.
    - Donald Moine
  • Leaders are not successful unless a lot of people want them to be.
    - John C. Maxwell
  • Do not complain about your people, grow them or get rid of them. Do not waste their time or your own.
    - KDT
  • You can give the same recipe to ten cooks, and some make it come alive, and some make a flat soufflé. A system doesn't guarantee anything.
    - Chuck Close
  • Too often, executives hope that once they have the strategy, implementation is a matter of course. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • The problem with most companies is that they have no good ideas. Instead, they are driven by ideas like: "The name of the game is climbing the corporate ladder," or "Do whatever it takes to win personally". These ideas pollute the organization.
    - Bill O'Brien
  • You never see the lies you believe.
    - Elvis Costello
  • A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
    - Unknown
  • There is a tremendous tendency of people high in the organization to become remote from reality and the facts, to begin to hypothesize and conjecture without any formal grounding of their theories.
    - Ray Stata
  • To change results, you must change performance. To change performance, you must change self-image.
    - KDT
  • The biggest problem in the world? Not being able to get people to do stuff.
    - Tim David
  • Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
    - Albert Einstein
  • You can recognize growth and underinvestment by the failure of a firm to achieve its potential growth despite everyone's working tremendously hard - a sign of underinvestment.
    - Peter M. Senge
  • Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.
    - Albert Einstein
  • Push yourself too hard or too continuously and the consequence will eventually be burnout and breakdown. Push yourself too little or too infrequently and no growth will occur.
    - Tony Schwartz
  • While the socially & scientifically naive endeavor to defy the bell curve, in effect they simply move it in the wrong direction.
    - KDT
  • The best performers in the world are always the most vigorous learners.
    - Greg Wingard
  • The path to self-actualization is paved by genuine self-esteem.
    - KDT
  • When I drive myself, my life is found.
    - Incubus
  • Regarding the difference between valid learning and specious learning - one of the fundamentals is that valid learning does not occur unless you continuously go back to reality.
    - Ray Stata
  • This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one...being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
    - George Bernard Shaw
  • In the domain of persuasion , conditions are ripe for self-sustaining incompetence.
    - Robert Levine
  • There can be no progress without change - even though not all change is progress.
    - John Wooden
  • Smugness and certainty tend to stop research rather than to stimulate it.
    - Abraham Maslow
  • An amateur practices a thing until he can do it right - a master practices a thing until he cannot do it wrong.
    - Unknown
  • It is ideal that we would first help and improve ourselves before we endeavor to help and improve others.
    - KDT
  • As long as a person doesn't know what he doesn't know, he doesn't grow.
    - John C. Maxwell
  • Current reality is always your new starting point.
    - Robert Fritz
  • Honesty is the cornerstone of civilization.
    - KDT
  • If you are not in the "change" business, you are not in business.
    - KDT
  • Theoretically speaking, leadership is for everyone. In practice, however, only a few understand it, and even fewer choose it. Having chosen to study this material, you have preselected yourself as a leader.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • Recovery is an important word and concept. It means renewal of life and energy. Knowing how and when to recover may prove to be the most important skill in your life.
    - James E. Loehr
  • U Gotta Wanna
    - Unknown
  • Cynics criticize and winners analyze.
    - Robert Kiyosaki
  • People and their performance are primarily the product of their programming and their environment.
    - KDT
  • Courage is the first human virtue because it makes all of the other human virtues possible.
    - Aristotle
  • Our brains are more literal than we think.
    - KDT
  • Get your 385 back!
    - KDT
  • Good psychology, once you know it, often seems like common sense, but it rarely seemed that way before you knew it.
    - Gillian Butler
  • The only thing a title can buy is a little time - either to increase your level of influence with others or to erase it.
    - John C. Maxwell
  • Improving quality often lowers your costs, but lowering your costs seldom improves quality.
    - Unknown
  • It is easier to act yourself into good thinking than it is to think yourself into good action.
    - Bill Gove
  • To be a leader is to win against the universal "No".
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • If workers cannot inform managers - and managers cannot learn and respond - workers' insights have no credibility, and the notion of their partnerships with management becomes empty verbiage.
    - Dr. Mitchell Rabkin
  • It's an important day in everyone's life when they begin to work for what they want to build rather than to please a boss.
    - Bill O'Brien
  • Control your own destiny, or someone else will.
    - Jack Welch
  • Only when it is vision-led, will an organization embrace change.
    - Ed Simon
  • The tragedy of our time is that we've got it backwards. We've learned to love techniques and use people.
    - Kevin & Jackie Freiberg
  • The more influence and power you give to someone else in the team situation, the more you have for yourself.
    - Abraham Maslow
  • Where is wisdom? Basically, it means to live by principles or natural laws rather than going along with today's culture of quick fix.
    - Steven R. Covey
  • Excellence is an art won by training and habituation.
    - Aristotle
  • The key is to structure our life such that we are running downhill in pursuit of our dream.
    - KDT
  • The people who get into trouble in our company are those who carry around the anchor of the past.
    - Jack Welch
  • The sales superstar is distinguished by an expertise in people and an expertise in motivating people.
    - Donald Moine
  • Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
    - Albert Schweitzer
  • Once the unconscious keeps one thing from you, it will keep other things from you.
    - Milton H. Erickson
  • You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within them.
    - Bob Nelson
  • Ironically, many of the business owners and executives who fire (unpersuasive workers) themselves do not know what would make the situation better. They think they do, but often it is the wrong solution.
    - Kurt Mortensen
  • The wise organization realizes that intelligent can only be governed by consent and not by command.
    - Charles Handy
  • To fear to face an issue is to believe that the worst is true.
    - Ayn Rand
  • Study the art of persuasion. Practice it. Develop an understanding of its profound value across all aspects of life.
    - Donald Trump
  • You can't completely develop leadership at a seminar, you can learn about it there, but you must develop it every day wherever you are.
    - KDT
  • Perhaps no human need is more neglected in the workplace than to feel valued.
    - Tony Schwartz
  • The best managers increase the health of the workers whom they manage.
    - Abraham Maslow
  • You are not getting what you want - you are getting what your brain is wired for.
    - Greg Wingard
  • Life does not give us what we need; life gives us what we deserve.
    - Earl Shoaff
  • In a world where the big things have little difference - it's the little things that make a big difference.
    - Peter Thomson
  • Many people confuse getting an order - with making a sale. If you did not persuade someone of something, you were not selling. Pretty much anyone can take an order - it is not so with selling.
    - KDT
  • If people are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather than dull, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.
    - Robert Conklin
  • Our desire to control is so powerful, and the feeling of being in control so rewarding, that people often act as though they can control the uncontrollable.
    - Daniel Gilbert
  • Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it's amazing what they can accomplish.
    - Sam Walton
  • It's not about who is right and who is wrong - it is about what happened and do we like it.
    - KDT
  • We have a moral obligation to give people the tools to meet tough goals. It's wrong if you don't give employees the tools to succeed, then punish them when they fail.
    - Steven Kerr
  • Companies sometimes have too many managers, but they can never have too many leaders.
    - KDT
  • If you are not deliberately developing leadership in your people, then they are likely to gradually lose confidence in you.
    - KDT
  • The first steps of healing and growth are awareness and acceptance - consciousness and integration are the fountainhead of personal development.
    - Nathaniel Branden
  • Realistic perceiving is prerequisite to realistic behaving, and realistic behaving is prerequisite to good results.
    - Abraham Maslow
  • It is easier to see the reality of other people's problems than it is to see the reality of our own.
    - KDT
  • The ethic of more, bigger, faster generates value that is narrow, shallow and short term. More and more leads, paradoxically, to less and less.
    - Tony Schwartz
  • Culture is one of the most precious things a company has, so you must work harder at it than anything else.
    - Herb Kelleher
  • Never become so much of an expert that you stop gaining expertise. View life as a continuous learning experience.
    - Denis Waitley
  • You have to treat your employees like your customers. When you treat them right, they will treat your outside customers right.
    - Herb Kelleher
  • We still live under this illusion we have control. We do not.
    - Jackie McGrath
  • Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions.
    - Jim Camp
  • Studies show that program managers are effective more because of their authentic and dedicated personalities than by virtue of their administrative and engineering skills.
    - Peter Koestenbaum
  • Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, 'What's in it for me?'
    - Brian Tracy
  • We leak the truth through every pore of our bodies.
    - Sigmund Freud
  • Leadership is one of the roles in life where it really does matter what others think of you.
    - KDT
  • Today the primary threats to our survival come not from sudden events but from slow, gradual processes.
    - Peter M. Senge
  • Big things are made of small things, if the small things are not good, then the big things usually are not good either.
    - KDT
  • Not finance. Not strategy. Not technology. It is teamwork that remains the ultimate competitive advantage, both because it is so powerful and so rare.
    - Patrick Lencioni
  • Much of the stress that people feel doesn't come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they've started.
    - David Allen
  • Practice makes permanent - perfect practice makes perfect.
    - Greg Wingard
  • In the most innovative companies, there is a significantly higher volume of thank-you's than in companies of low innovation.
    - Rosabeth Moss Kanter
  • You get what you reward! Know what you want to get and reward or recognize people in some way to get it.
    - Bob Nelson
  • You have to 'be' before you can 'do', and do before you can 'have'.
    - Zig Ziglar
  • Only those who have the patience to do things perfectly will acquire the skill to do difficult things.
    - Johann Christoph Von Schiller

What is really going on when a prospect has a "closed-mind"? More importantly, what can we do about it?

First, let's set out some ground rules so to speak.

Rule 1. These characteristics apply to everyone - yes, that includes you and me.

Rule 2. We are concerned here with the mind - as opposed to the brain. The brain is the physical organ within a person that provides the means whereby we can have (among other things) a mind - the mind being the dynamic, current collection of our beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, communication skills and habits. We can and do change our minds - which is the point of persuasion - selling.

Rule 3. We have a natural "guard" for our mind to keep inappropriate information out.

Rule 4. The guard is comprised of at least 3 known filters or as I like to refer to them, "shields" to either block out information or allow it to pass through.

Rule 5. The shields are "closed" or "open" in varying degrees depending upon the mind's subjective evaluation of the information source. (ie. the person or entity doing the "selling", giving the orders or otherwise offering information)

Rule 6. The guard is always right. It possesses the latest trusted information for protecting the mind.

Rule 7. The 3 shields are open or closed to the degree to which the mind believes "yes" - open, or "no" - closed to the following questions which the mind naturally and continually (though unconsciously) poses to itself regarding the information source. Can I trust this source? Does this source care about me as a person? Does this source have standards that are as high or higher than my own? (The "source" is usually a person whose name can be inserted into the question.)

Rule 8. There may be other rules and factors impacting the exchange of information. However, those already listed provide the basis for nearly unlimited resistance to new information (when shields are in the "no" or closed positions) in any given person - and likewise may provide nearly unrestricted flow of information when in the "yes" or open positions. 

Make sense so far? If not, stop and go back...nothing that follows will have any value until there is agreement on (and understanding of) the ground rules.

If you have gotten this far, then the foundation for understanding has been laid. Now, what do we do with this knowledge?

First of all, you are now in a position to understand why you have been "unable to get through" to someone you have attempted to persuade in the past. Metaphors such as "they have a mental block", or "it is like talking to a wall" and others may now make more sense to you. But that does not help you get your information past these shields now.

Furthermore, you may now understand how and why someone you have tried to persuade in the past "has opened up" to you over the course of getting to know them. If you can wait for your relationship to develop over time, that is great - people will eventually get to know, like and trust you and believe you have acceptable standards. But if you are looking to generate persuasive results now, you will need something else.

Using a building as an example of the mind, most people approach others through the "front door" with the "direct" approach to getting their message in. In the case of the closed mind the front door is heavily guarded and virtually impenatrable by any conventional (and nearly all known unconventional) means. (If you have ever had a spirited debate or argument you may have experienced how another person's resistance can literally be fueled by the energy you expend trying to overcome it.) However, the side doors or back door are often completely open, unguarded and accessible and this is where peruasion work can begin now. But how do we get to them?

Here is where things can get interesting. There are certain communication components, patterns and principles which are nearly irresistable for any "normal" person. American POW's who were "broken" during their captivity by the Chinese during the Korean War, were not tortured nor "directly" reprogrammed, but were incrementally and subtly persuaded to think, speak and act differently. They were approached through the side doors and back door of their minds so to speak, and were given the freedom of choice - not brainwashed. While you are probably not interested in becoming a propagandist and you do not have a captive audience, the basic tools, components and patterns can help you begin persuasive work with others immediately.

Although these tools, components and patterns are not beyond the average person's capacity to learn, they require practice (KASH) to develop their habitual use - and subsequently their long-term benefit. They require you to "give up", or at least reduce, using the shortcut of pushing and pounding on the front door - telling others. Because most people have been heavily conditioned to "tell" others - directions, answers to questions, why they should do business with you, etc; this can be a longer conversion than one might think.

The single most important vehicle to penetrate another person's mind via these alternative access points, is the appropriate use of questions. Sounds easy enough, but try it out just to see how it goes...my guess is that you will soon be back to telling in no time. Why? Because old habits often die hard - and new ones take an appropriate investment of time and effort to put in their place. 

The actual tools, components and patterns used in persuading this way are not a secret, but it can take time for a person to gather them up on their own and new ones continue to be developed. Like the tools of other trades and professions, most people have some familiarity with many of these tools, but often have little skill effectively using them in persuasion work. I provide quick access and effective instruction to help you develop skill and ultimately habits in using the fundamental tools and ingredients of persuasion - some of which are listed in Basic Training Ingredients.

Additionally, I teach the tools, components and patterns that will cause the shields to eventually move to the open position, but those are not as hard to learn or practice - they primarily take time to be effective with a prospect and would more appropriately be considered a function of influence.